I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
third nipple confirmed
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
