I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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