Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
