Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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