I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
