i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
did i walk over a car last night?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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