I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
