But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
