I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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