PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
