"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
This is classic penis vs brain.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
