Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
