i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
