Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
