put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone