I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?