i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
