Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
