Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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