I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
