The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
