Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
