U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
