We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Did I show you my penis last night?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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