She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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