YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
