it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
