escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
