your room smells of hookers.
And success
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
