guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
