I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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