We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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