So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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