she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
is it fun? or sober?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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