And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
