I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
