I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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