Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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