don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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