Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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