we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
