where am i from again
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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