So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
