so explain again why im purple
no
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize