His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
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remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
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Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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