took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
false alarm, still single
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