bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
