i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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