i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize
