hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
