Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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