I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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