I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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