Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
