i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
