I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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