So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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