Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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