What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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