he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
