I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
