I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize