Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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