It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So much Jack, so little girl.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
