Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
