As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
