I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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