Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
